Dear Lukas


Two years ago, your wonderful parents brought you to INSTEP because Dad needed to work and Mom needed to go to school. You cried -- long, loud, wailing cries -- for the first two weeks, wearing yourself out as I pushed your stroller in circles around the parking lot. You didn't do too much else. But I knew something was brewing in those beautiful blue eyes; that there was an ocean of joy and adventure and possibility hidden somewhere just below the surface. Indeed, you were walking before we knew it. As soon as you could take a step, you learned to climb, and climb you did: on chairs, on tables, on the playground equipment, anywhere you could put your feet and some places you couldn't. Falling didn't stop you; bumps and bruises were rights of passage that only made you stronger and more willing. And your mind grew just as your body -- in leaps and bounds. What a privilege, to finally see those thoughts of yours take shape in the form of words. Everything you saw and experienced, at home and at INSTEP, was a source of such wonder and joy and perplexity and excitement. You spoke in exclamation points, chasing away any dullness or monotony. (Life for you was anything but.) Your new bike! Grandma's house! A worm in the dirt! Annie coming to pick you up! With you, life was always loud and colorful and real and joyful and worth shouting about.

You were - and are - a beautiful boy. Beautiful inside and out. A boy in every sense of the word. And a child that we at INSTEP were so, so blessed to have known. You left on Friday the way you first came: with little fanfare but obvious contentment to be in Mom's arms (your favorite place to be). She was sad, and we were all holding back tears. She wanted to carry you out the car sleeping, but you woke up and managed a final "Bye everyone!". And we will never forget those words you spoke to us earlier that day, just before naptime: "Guys, it's my last day today, and I'm going to miss you." A moment of stillness, of seriousness; a flickering glimpse into a reality none of us want to face. In your three-year-old simplicity and wisdom, you say the words we want to say, in a way we never could.

Lukas, I wish for you a continued life full of joy and wonder and adventure, wherever you go and whatever you do. Keep laughing, keep climbing, keep chasing, keep asking questions. As much as we'd like to keep you here with us forever, we know we can't. You have your own life to lead -- and lead it you will. But when you're not jumping from jungle gyms or chasing girls or digging up worms, I hope you'll stop back in and say hi.

After all, we'll miss you, too.

Boys and Bugs

This month is "bug month" at INSTEP. That means we are talking about all things creepy and crawly -- caterpillars, butterflies (including our soon-to-be-butterfly class pet named Nicholas, who is currently transforming inside his crysallis), bees, spiders, ants, grasshoppers, ladybugs, worms, you name it. We are reading books about bugs, doing art projects such as making caterpillars on popsicle sticks, and otherwise going all-out bug crazy. The boys find this topic especially fascinating. Take Lukas for instance, who will turn three tomorrow. As he and Tom were painting bugs this afternoon, I asked him a question, which went as follows:

Me: Lukas, what's your favorite kind of bug?

*thoughtful pause*

Lukas: The really icky ones.

Why I love This Website

I just came across this beautiful gem of wisdom from one of Danielle Bean's readers:

The kids have taught me so much about God. My 5 year old insisted on giving me a toonie ($2 Cdn. coin) for my birthday. I knew this was half of her entire savings. At first I didn’t want to take it from her but she insisted. I took it and said to myself, I’ll just find a way to give it back to her. And since she was so generous I would give her back $5. It took a while to sink in but I realized this is how God takes care of us. What father would not repay his generous child? Since that day I no longer worry. If we generously turn everything over to God, He will provide for us in abundance.

How much do we give to God? Or rather, how much do we hold back? Money is one tangible way of measuring generosity, to be sure; but how about other "gifts" in our lives -- friendships, family, leisure activities, work, home, and all the joys and sorrows that accompany our journey. Since everything we have comes from our Father to begin with -- namely, our very lives -- is it too much to give Him back our lives in return?

Summer is Here!!!

Spring being a tough act to follow, God created June, remarked the American actor Al Bernstein. And the kids know how to celebrate... by just being kids. Shorts, sundresses, sunshine, and smiles; giggling girls and boisterous boys; digging for worms and chasing after each other with shouts and laughter. With Summer comes more bumps and bruises, to be sure: already I've applied more than a few bandaids, an ice pack, and water to a tearful eye rubbed with sunscreen. But pain is hardly an obstacle to childhood's blissful freedom. More often than not, I've discovered, bandaids are just for show: a kiss to a child's "owwie" works equally well. (Never underestimate the power of a kiss. They will be screaming one minute, and fine the next.) Such is life in a world where time is measured in activities rather than minutes. Summers, I have decided (at least, Summers in Minnesota where the weather is deliciously warm rather than scorchingly hot) are God's way of saying that sometimes, we take life far too seriously. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Owwies and all. So get out there! Dig in the mud, chase a toddler, jump in the pool, laugh until it hurts. Enjoy God's beautiful gifts. Summer is here, and life is good.

All Grown Up


The youngest member of my favorite band is married. To a Georgia girl, just like his brother... (oh the irony.) :) Life is strange. Good...but strange. So much has changed since '97, and yet it sometimes seems like just yesterday.



And I'll tell you again like I did nine years ago: Hanson's music is authentic, fun, beautiful and made to last. I wish the same for their marriages.

Congratulations!!!


To two of my best friends, now husband and wife, and a beautiful couple at that -- Seth and Elizabeth Patrich. Here's to a long and blessed life together, surrounded by family and friends and filled with love and joy.

Be Idealistic

The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried. ~G.K. Chesterton

I have a vivid memory of a particular game my sister and I would play together as children; a game sparked perhaps by boredom or inclement weather, but always incredibly fun and silly and infused with endless possibility. We called the game Flying Lessons. It consisted of nothing but our energetic selves, a few blankets, and (did Mom know about this?? Sorry, Mom!) the fascinating ledge formed by the back of the couch. One of us would be the "teacher" and the other the "student", the latter of whom would be carefully outfitted in a magical super-cape (a doll's blanket or two) and guided up to the Take-Off ledge, first balancing precariously with the Teacher's aid, and later solo, arms extented and fingers spread, absorbing words of steady encouragement: "now bend your knees and on the count of three jump as high as you can... keep your arms out! Think of the sky!" The daring Student would inevitably plunge straight to the floor (a fall softened by a makeshift landing pad of couch pillows), only to rise again for another try. The lessons went on with determination for what seemed like hours, until dinner beckoned or a friend came over to play.

I am thankful, looking back on it, that no one stepped in to tell us we couldn't fly. Perhaps we got a "girls, stop jumping off the couch" from Mom once or twice; memory fails me. But we never once heard: you crazy kids, flying is impossible, just give it up. There is something inside us as adults that prevents us from "spoiling the fun" for children, however ridiculous that fun might seem. We remember the days of our own childhood when the impossible seemed anything but, and deep inside we can't fully let go of such longings. We know in our hearts that there is something beyond this world, because our hearts were made for that something: a place of dreams fulfilled and imagination realized. Eternity with God. Heaven.

Don't ever let anyone tell you are being too idealistic; that the real world doesn't work that way, so get a grip and don't set your standards so high. If there's one thing that annoys me more than anything else, it's this attitude, so prevalent in the world: the idea of "settling" for something because you just couldn't "reach" that something else -- something you know deep inside is better. I can understand where this perspective comes from...most people, myself included, have gotten their hopes up at some point in their life only to have those hopes dashed, and with that disappointment a new resolve never to "get my hopes up" again. The difference is this: people and their promises will always disappoint, and we should never put all our hope in them. But we should put our hope in God, always. The things we hope for now may not all be granted to us in this lifetime. But one day, every single dream and hope and desire we have will be fulfilled by our Father, who knows our hearts and wishes only our good.

This is why I seek to live by God's standards, given to us so beautifully in the Church. To me, they are not strict rules which are outdated and impossibly difficult to follow; nor are they simply guidelines to be jotted down in the back of your head and followed when convenient. They are the Loving Arms of our Papa in Heaven, encircling us His children. They are the gates of His amazing Playground -- why should we want so desparately to escape the great palaces of the inner court for the dingy sidewalks and dangerous streets outside? Yet even if we should run away (for the gate is never locked), He will always welcome us back with open arms.

So don't settle. Ever. For anything.
Strive, grow, dance, climb, fly.

Children know this simple truth: (and it is, indeed, a truth): super powers exist. God is the ultimate Superhero, and we are made to share in His amazing power... we'll never fully grasp that reality here on earth, but we should always keep trying; we should spread our wings and limber up for that glorious day when flying will be a reality.

Is this just wild imagination? Maybe. Optimism? Sure. Being unrealistic? That depends on which world is more real to you: this one, or the spiritual. Don't eat from the dumpster -- lift your eyes -- we have a Banquet! It is not too good to be true... it IS true, and it is beyond good.